Christmas time

We have introduced a secret santa for the adults in the family. You draw one name from the hat and buy that person a gift totalling no more than £20.

This year the gifts I've bought for my secret santa are to the value of £50 because of voucher codes and 2 for 1 offers and 20% off on books from W H Smith.

The need to stockpile Christmas puds and spend stupid amounts of money on food and drink, which invariably is still sitting around gathering dust in early February is just plain lunacy.

I also believe that spending vast sums on wrapping paper, ribbon and bows is also a waste of money. Whilst the gift might look lovely, within minutes the externals are discarded and the gift is placed on the floor and soon gets covered by other copious amounts of discarded paper.

However, having family around and enjoying a meal and a drink together and chatting and watching TV can be an inexpensive highlight.

Best idea if you're having all the family around for lunch is to get them all to bring something...one does the veg, another the pu, another the wine..cheaper. more sociable, and more in the spirit of Chrsitmas. Mine will be a frugal affair this year but I'm looking forward to it more than any other in a long time!

So right Sabre. I heard someone moaning on the TV the other day that, "Christmas was cancelled this year". What rubbish! As you say, you can make a festive meal at a bargain price if you buy carefully and spend a bit of time planning and preparing. Make a present challenge to spend no more than a set amount per person. We have got too used to spending ridiculous amounts of money on stupid things that are a one minute wonder and get thrown away within days. This time of austerity should teach us to be much more sensible about what we spend and make us think about what is really important.

The real art of Christmas is managing expectations.

If clear and precise boundaries are introduced and shared with all members of the family then this can lead to a greatly reduced stress level.

Chrsitmas for me is very much about the children and the excitement of seeing them open their presents and appreciate what they've been given and not receiving so much that they are spoilt for choice and end up not appreciating or valuing any one thing over and above the others.

I know my parents used to say that I was more interested in the packaging than the present and I would spend hours making something creative out of the boxes that the presents came in. I was a child of the Blue Peter era, where sticky back plastic, cereal boxes and some liquid detergent bottles provieded hours of endless fun!!

One would hope that the real value of Christmas has come home to roost at last in the current austere climate. Prices in the stores are of course artificially inflated for this time of year ... for example a festive tin of sweets at £6.99 when the sweets retail at £2.99 in a disposable packet. And scented candles at £8 just because again they come in a festive tin. There is something very wrong when people pay these prices just for the pleasure of giving.

I will be spending Christmas day with my daughter and grandchildren and having a normal but hopefully lovely roast dinner, which nowadays is a treat for me anyway as I seldom cook intensively for myself. There may be the addition of a bag of nuts or box of dates but certainly not the usual excesses of Christmases gone by.

People are not hitting the shops as in years gone by and the high streets are really quite quiet, especially restaurants and takeways as the recession bites. There is certainly gloom out there that even Christmas cannot help.

At the end of the day, and as Parchester so rightly says, Christmas is all about expectations, and they only last for a few minutes while people unwrap things. IT would be so nice for the current financial gloom to bring back more important things, such as being together, sharing good times and not simply worrying about how pleasing others at cost.

For some reason I have not been able to add comments to my 'thanks' recently. Anyone else having this problem?

Having young grandchildren Sabre and two sons and hubby who have never really grown up when it comes to Christmas I do have to pull out all the stops.

When it comes to presents we have agreed we're just buying for the little ones this year though.

I think everyone has agreed that we're not bottomless pits and we have to draw the line somewhere.

As you know I've been building up my non perishable hamper since November of everyone's food and drink favourites.

I find shopping that way enabled me to build up a stock of various supermarket offers a little at a time. It's nearly completed now and just waiting for some happy faces to dive in and haul out their special treats.

I know what else I was going to say....
Was having a discussion with my friend the other day, and she asked if we set a budget for presents for our son, or if we bought things until we felt we had enough. I told her it was neither, and that me and his dad talked about what we thought would be suitable and that he would like, and then decided on a few things, and that's what we get him. She then seemed very bemused that people had been questioning her setting a budget; I said that seemed like quite a sensible idea, until she told me how much her budget is....

Their daughter is only 5, and the budget for presents is £400 at Christmas and £300 for birthday.

I thought she meant that this was the total that she spends over the year on everyone - but no... this is just on her daughter!! Utter madness if you ask me. My friend doesn't work either, so god knows how they afford it?!?!?

No cutting back this year for them obviously Sabre - no matter what the economy is doing!!!

It's a vast amount of money for a five year old. I remember when mine were about 13 and 14 and they both wanted computers. That was a very expensive time especially as I was by then a single Mum. Fortunately I had a very well paid job so was able to do it but at that age they can appreciate how much they cost and not ask for much else and get a lot of pleasure using them. It helps so much with their school work in later years.